cold

I am trying to write but the baby is crying and its drving me insane i surely remember why I do not want kids they are noisy and crazy. It is as if there is nothing you can do to please its crazy stressful just having them. I cant imagine owning 2 slaves that must be insane. All my life I have wanted siblings but they distract from my serving sometimes and I find that i much rather be left alone to my own devices. Espically with my sister because she like a real sister gets on my nerves from time to time but I do lover her wish makes me wonder if I am investing to much time and energy and emotion into what could be a let down. She is hard to work with like she has a certain way things need to be done ...Her way but that isnt to say her way as in she will explain how she wants it done it just means her way as in she has to do it if anyone else does it she will go crazy. Her emotions seems very false at time other then when she shows anger or sadness there is no actual emotion that I am aware of it is a very tough skin to crack. I wish there was a way to get through that skin and show her that it is ok to show how she feels or maybe she feels nothing at all other than just the control she desires from Mistress. Also her kids sometimes drive me insane but that is just kids in general. I feel like I have been a private person my whole life so has my owner and kids invade the privacy constantly. I am hiding in a dark whole away from every one so that I can attempt to write my journal in peace and yet still the children have managed to find me and the babies screams have managed to reach me. I wish that my sister was treated more like a slave and less like an equal at times it just seems unfair but this is all new anyway...also she says she hates the cold and it is freezing in her house all of the time.