What is Natural?

The poor treatment of humans is something that as people we naturally do not care for, but for me as a person, as a slave is something I have a great deal of passion for. The worse I am treat by my owner the better I feel, it is almost as if being treated like shit is a way I feel affections in fact its my favorite way to feel it. When I am called a name or belittled in some way it just makes me melt, it truly makes me feel my place in a greater way than anything else I know. I have often wondered why I am like that because it is even harsh by slave standards and I have really never had a Mistress that can fulfill this to completion. I really dont have an answer, its just something inside of me a force pulling me that wants me to feel like shit because for a reason I cant explain it makes me to comfortable.  I would see people with really bitchy wives who would point out ever little thing they did wrong and yell at them for it on a daily basis, showing no sympathy for anything they had worked for. It was something that made me so envious I had always wanted that forceful control but to even a much greater extreme. This is something that I suppose can be traced back to my grandparents, my grandma is the most controlling person I have ever known. My grandpa does everything hes the breadwinner he cooks cleans mows, does it all and none of it he can do right. She snaps at him constantly always sure to point out his flaws and put him in his place. Its not just with him either she needs to control every one around her even me. When I was young I remember I wanted to be a pro wrestler and she was sure to tell me that it would never happen and I was being stupid for thinking it would. Which of course was true but its not something you generally tell an 8 year old. As a kid I hated being called names it was something that I would get in fights over it just had bugged me so much. Ironic now that I embrace it and can never get enough of my owner telling me im a dumbass or im retarded referring to my penis as a clit so forth and so on. The worse it gets the better it gets for me ..what an amazing feeling!