Things are still hard for me I am so bored I have to invent ways to amuse myself. Not much has changed so really not much to type here. I got let out of chastity on sunday and have cum 5 times since, something I am very ashamed of but I just have no way to control it, just get bored and play with my clit. Its a shame because I pride myself on being the best slave for my owner but we are just not ment to live a vanilla life and being forced into one is very hard. Though we sneak some things in every now in that like yesterday my ashtray was filled with 8 cigarette butts maybe the most Miss Carrie has ever put out in me. But shortly after is i back to reality as we cannot do these things in our current living situation. Nor can we really continue my training I hate to let her down but I have trouble staying strong, she is much stronger than me which is one of the many reasons I worship her so much.
We walk through life learning and growing. Hoping that one day we can find a place in this world where we feel we belong. I wandered into this lifestyle on a whim at a young age and I have found myself delving in deeper over the years. I have finally come to the point that that I know this is where I belong... this is the path that I have been looking for all this time.
ReplyDeleteI thought that in a past relationships that I was home and that was where I was supposed to be. But in this relationship I have come to learn that I am the home, the constant, the refuge. A place for my slave to dwell and grow with me as we form this life together. Through him I have learned to let go of who I used to be and learn to be myself completely. This is a blessing and a curse. Because now that this proverbial Pandora's box has been opened, it is so very hard to retract from that. It is a lid that refuses to be closed.
When my slave feels off and out of sorts it puts an unease in me. The bond that we share is unbreakable but the imbalance leaves things feeling disconnected sometimes. It breaks my heart when we aren't in the headspace that we should be in or able to express who we are in the fullest sense. I feel so determined to move from where we are at right now and have our own place. So that we can be free and open to live our lives to the fullest together. Being stuck in this condition right now makes me feel as if i am not always living up to my expectations. I know that he holds me in such high regards that I would hate to seem like a failure in caring for him. I know that i am human but I want to be the best thing in his life always.
you will always be the bet thing in my life Mistress no matter what. I do hold you in very high regard beacuase as a slave I look up to you I adore you as a person as well all that you have been through all that you have done it all makes me love you that much more. The fact we make make such a great couple on so many levels makes me knw our mariage will last forever. Your comment was very well written ...I miss reading your comments and communicating this way. It is truly a treat to have you comment .thank you Mistress Carrie
ReplyDeletealso I ment to say the overwhelming joy I have that you say that you truly feel like are being yourself as my owner. I dont think anything you have ever said has ment so much to me. I love that you feel as if you have found who you truly are and have allowed me to come along.
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